Revised Chapter 12
Veil War Thursday is here, if not so early in the morning as is typical. Right now, you can read a new version of Chapter 12. I was going to save that editing for later, but it was a loose tooth that I couldn’t leave alone. The story moves a bit faster than previously with the extraneous material cut out and gets us right up to the border.
Hopefully later tonight, but by tomorrow morning at the latest, you’ll get Chapter 13, which will be all-new material. If I can fight through the flu-induced anomie and lethargy…
This paragraph, in the middle of Revised Chap 12, has a bad-boy in it.
But it wasn’t their fault. He shook his head and looked over to the Prince. “Your Highness, we’re ready on our end. Scouts are out down the road, its clear for at least the next 15 miles. Your men are scouting those low hills to the north. We don’t expect trouble from the south, but I sent a team to parallel our route just to be sure.”
“its clear for…” should be “it’s clear for…”
That’s actually a bad run-on sentence there. If yer gonna keep it, use a semicolon instead of a comma, please, sir, in front of “it’s”.
I was a copy editor once…long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
Fixed, and thanks. This time, I blame armies of malevolent microbes.
And you didn’t sic the goblins on me for my terrible sentence structure!
Waiting for 13…