I think this applies to you
by veilwar
I think this is a good theory on why the nitpicking seems focused on certain topics here. (Mind you, I don’t mind the nitpicking. But you weren’t complaining about bulletproof magical armor.)
The Veil War
"and then I was like, 'Holy crap, goblins!'"
The Veil War 
Nitpicking.
Damn fine story so far.
Crazy side note…it’s currently a wonderful men’s novel, focused on action, some camaraderie. If you want crossover appeal, you’d want to include more of the relationships, mixed in with the action. If the boys save one of the Saud princesses, or encounter an Israeli women’s unit? I recognize that you may not be planning that, but a little relationship focus dropped into the main rollicking good story would broaden the appeal to two genders. 🙂 Check out, perhaps, this discussion over at Atomic Nerds:
http://www.atomicnerds.com/?p=5335
Interesting link. “I would cry for you, but real men don’t.” Heh.
One thing to keep in mind is that while this that you’re reading is a self-contained story, it is only about half of what will be the complete Veil War novel. The other half will be the story of a family back in the states coping in a different way with the same events. That story will be less boys-own-adventure style simply because the characters and setting will be different. And then the third half will be minor threads with characters who will serve as an example for the others, and shine some light on happenings away from the two main stories.
[…] has a post that gives a name to the point I raised earlier about the uncanny valley in storytelling. When my daughter was much younger, my wife was reading to her from a picture book […]