Movement to Contact
by veilwar
Chapter Eighteen is now up, and hey, look at the time! It’s not 11:59! I actually hope to get back to early morning Thursday postings for chapters, but the quantity of rewriting I’m doing is a lot more than I (rather naively, as it turns out) expected. Teaser:
“Fuck!” Coleman shouted, and spun the thumper around to the right. “Who fucking shot me?”
Angelo, standing in the bed of the humvee behind, opened up with his .50 cal. Lewis watched the tracers reach out across the sandto a battered Toyota pickup racing toward them. Two bursts disabled the engine and the occupants piled out. Another burst cut one of them in half.
We’re now in Part III, which doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything to you except that it’s battle time. And as always, your help in catching errors and mistakes is always appreciated. Further, since we’re moving into combat mode again, that will mean greater opportunities for you veterans and gun enthhusiasts to be nitpicky as much as your black little hearts desire offer constructive and useful criticism to improve the story. So enjoy.
The Veil War 
I think your writing has been improving, or else your editing. More emotional impact on me these last 2 chapters.
These set-ups to battle are generally more difficult than the battle sequences themselves in my opinion, you have to get all your ducks in a row, in the right place, for the mayhem to commence. You’re doing good, mate.
Aretae, thanks much. Emotional impact is, of course, one of the goals.
What I’ve been doing is really a mix of writing, rewriting and editing. I think I am improving on all fronts. I would be scared if I wasn’t, considering the amount of focused attention I am paying to this.
Of course, I’m just into the first bend of the S-curve. There is so much room for improvement, but I’m trying to concentrate on fundamental aspects of story telling, and not get ahead of myself, get fancy and faceplant. I’ve played with writing for a long time, but I haven’t devoted this much effort to anything in a long time. I had almost forgotten how good it feels.
pkgesic, thanks also. You’re right. I thought at first that this section would be easy, and I skated on to the battle scene. I’ve spent more time rewriting this part over the last several weeks than I did writing it the first time. And as a result, I have to make adjustments to the battle scene. I do think I have all the ducks lined up, now, thank God. Next week, we’ll see actual mayhem.